The Tiers of Love

“You can’t ask for what you want unless you know what it is . . . First you have figure out what you want. Second, you have to decide that you deserve it. Third, you have to believe you can get it. And, fourth, you have to have the guts to ask for it.” -Barbara De Angelis

Iris Roberts

The Tier System was born in a smoke-filled living room with two women trying to figure out why some relationships were so hard to get over while others, that were of equal or greater length, are just a blip on the relationship map. We all instinctively know that the range and depth of feelings we have for different people on a romantic level is vast. The Tiers is just a way of defining and expressing those differences so we can see clearly where we need to go.

Although the three main Tiers, as well as their offshoots, remain steady, the System itself is extremely fluid, allowing for expansion and growth as new experiences and insights feed it.Over the years, I have made it my business to observe and ask questions about as many relationships as possible. I am using The Tiers to guide me through my current relationship, and find it helps me understand what I am dealing with, as well as what steps I need to take in the future. 

My hope is that access to The Tiers will lead people to become more aware and certain of what they want and need in their love lives, and what they don't need to waste their energy on. The simplicity of The System can, and does, bring comfort and clarity to otherwise confusing emotions surrounding dating and love.